Unfortunately, the opposite sex can be such a puzzle to solve sometimes. Fortunately, avoiding just a few failure points can put you at the top of the food-chain with women. Let’s get into it.
Trying to be Someone you’re Not
This is the biggest one because most guys try and pretend a little too hard. I get it, you want to be a mysterious, yet interesting person. The problem here is that you just end up looking like a confusing introvert that likes talking about themselves. No one is going to believe you’re Batman and you’ll look stupid trying.
Being yourself can be a problem if you have bad social habits, like displaying introverted body language and playing video games in your moms basement. If that’s you, then maybe you should consider actually becoming more interesting by joining a club or just getting out more. Socializing in itself is a skill and being fun to talk to is valuable to women.
The take away with our first point here is to try and improve yourself if you feel like you have subpar qualities as a man, not pretend to be a spy or bad ass when you’re not. It’ll give you the opposite results……trust me.
It’s cool that you want to go out with your X-Men shirt and gym shorts to Starbucks on your day off. It really is……except it isn’t attractive. If you just focus on fitting, dark or neutral color clothing and nice matching footwear, you’ll be set.
Women tend to pay a lot closer attention to what a guy is wearing than guys give them credit for. It isn’t the brand or the style either. It’s all about being neatly put together. Sneakers, boots and shoes are actually a really big deal as well. Having clean footwear is the icing on the cake and complete’s a pretty picture.
Do yourself a favor and start getting into the habit of wearing clean, wrinkle free clothing that fits. Start simple. No pictures, stripes or accessories (jewelry, sunglasses, etc). Get yourself some really nice sneakers or neutral boots that can be used for multiple occasions. Practice dressing nice for even casual outings and you’ll be set!
This isn’t just about having yellow teeth, bad breath or near-nuclear body odor, it’s about aesthetic maintenance too. Once the teeth are clean, deodorant is on, make sure you shave and have a crispy haircut. You’d be surprised how much of a difference a shapeup can make.
The next time you decide to spend some extra money on a new XBOX game, ask yourself if your hair is getting a little wild. If the answer is yes, you better put that game back on the shelf or your only girlfriend will be the chick in the poster above your bed.
Clean, fitting neutral clothing, a clean or crispy shave and a nice haircut will get you 80% there. It would help to lose the extra weight as well. Cut down on carbs and sugar, it’ll make you a new man.
Put yourself on a maintenance schedule and get a shape up once a month, trim your nails every Sunday and shave every morning (or every other day if you’re a light grower like me).
Go to the Right Places
You really need to be in places that women gather in order to start getting comfortable around them or actually having a chance of getting to know one.
While I do think the internet is a great place to meet women, it isn’t a great place to develop confidence and character. Without confidence and character, it’s hard to maintain whatever relationship is created online. I’m going to stick to real-life encounters for this tip.
If you’re going to gaming conventions and cars hows, you’ll end up meeting a lot of cool people, but the female population is going to be more scarce than playgrounds in NYC.
Go work in Starbucks or be more social at your local gym or health club. You can meet women without going to bars or clubs. Bars and clubs are just social places. So are parks, libraries and coffee shops.
Not Talking Enough to Women
It’s nice to think that we can just stand in a public place with a lot of women and get hit on, but in reality that rarely happens. The main reason is because women are conditioned to believe that they are the prize so men must approach them. Even if they like you, it’s rare that they will actually approach you.
Start with innocent talk. Just practice saying things to women. Something as simple as asking for the time can feel satisfying and give you confidence. Asking how they like a book that you see them reading or making a nice comment about their phone case can get you a long way.
The great thing is, if they are attracted to you, once you initiate a conversation, they are likely to take the lead or encourage you to continue to talk to them.
Those are my top five tips for helping guys out there that are having trouble solving the puzzle of women!