Most people have problems with being assertive. Having an assertive personality is key to achieving simplicity in life. Never be afraid to offend anyone. Some people will be offended if you reject their ideas and views or if you reject them altogether. They may be offended or even pissed off at you, but they’ll respect you.
- NEVER be afraid to say “no”
- Never agree just to spare someone’s feelings
- It’s better for someone to dislike you and respect you than for them to walk all over you
- Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive
- People will forgive you if you upset or offend them
- Always stand truthful of your beliefs, don’t lie
There are a lot of times where people are afraid to say a simple “no”. When a friend asks you to go somewhere and you don’t want to, how do you respond? Most people will say “I have something else to do” or “I have other plans”. Very few will actually just was “no thanks”. Some people feel uncomfortable being assertive because they are afraid of confrontation. They are afraid of a possible negative reaction from the other person, so they never express themselves truthfully.
Displaying assertion is just like any habit. It will feel uncomfortable in the beginning. It will eventually become easier and more natural the with frequent practice. This goes back to dealing with a short term inconvenience for long term stability. After you develop an assertive personality, you will begin to feel empowered. You’ll notice that life is a lot simpler than it seemed before.
Assertive vs Aggressive
Assertive means taking a stand and aggressive means starting a fight. There’s a fine line between having and assertive personality and and aggressive personality. When being assertive, there is no intent of offense. The goal is for you to display the truth as simple as possible. Any offense taken is not your responsibility. Being aggressive on the other hand is usually a deliberate attempt to offend the person. It’s at the other end of the scale. You have passive-aggressive, assertive, and aggressive. The scale has to be balanced. If it leans towards passive-aggressive or aggressive, it will eventually lead to problems. Being able to balance in the middle is important.
Check out the link here to get more details on passive-aggressive personality and how to have more of an assertive personality