People have a hard time changing undesirable behaviors, even if they are aware of it. They still repeat this behavior. What’s the problem? They don’t have the tools of change required to handle that problem.
- Conscious awareness of a bad habit doesn’t means it’s going away anytime soon
- Each bad habit or behavior requires a different tool to deal with it
- Change cannot come from within. Change needs to come from an external stimulus
- The subconscious is controlled by emotions, not logic
- Tools are shifts in thinking that can only come from experience
- These tools in thinking don’t have to be conscious, they can be subconscious realizations
- Learning how to learn a way of thinking is a skill (tool) in itself
Sometimes a partner cheats on their spouse and feel horrible afterwards, but does it again. They don’t know why they can’t stop themselves. Just like with the tight rope, as much as they know what they have to do and as much as they know the consequences, they just can’t do anything about it unless they acquire the proper tools of change to balance on the rope.Some screws require a flat screw driver and some require a Phillips screw driver. Same with our problems. We can’t use the same tool to deal with all of our problems. To simplify it, think of the subconscious as uncontrollable. Physical and mental behaviors follow the same principle. If someone swings their hand in front of your face, you will blink or flinch. That was an automatic reflex; an unconscious reflex. You may hate that you did it, but it’s out of your control.
Acquiring Tools of Change
The only way to really acquire tools of change is to get certain shifts in perspective as a result of mistakes. The only way to do that is to go out and experience life. Try to be as specific to what you’re having problems with as possible. For example, if you’re having problems being faithful to your spouse, make more mistakes and try new things in that area of life. The trick is to always continue challenging your comfort zone in new areas of your life.
There is no right or wrong, there is only action or inaction. To grasp concepts and really comprehend it (obtain a tool), most people need more than just an understanding of the concept. Tools of change don’t come easy, but when they come, you’ll know you’ve acquired the tool. You’ll have that gauge for ever.