Lets be honest. Everyone’s been curious about online dating, even if they’re never done it. Online dating has a shakey reputation, yet there are so many people are using online dating sites.
In fact, online dating is on the rise. Lets take a look at the pros and cons of both online and in going out to meet people in person.resume
Pros of Online Dating
1. Abundance – Online dating is like a sea of men and women. Your local bar may have 5 or 10 men or women, but go online, create a profile and now you’re looking at hundreds of women in or around your area.
2. Refined Selection – How great is that? You can even use filters to pick and choose who shows up in your search. You can filter by weight, height, race, religion, interests, hate group memberships, you name it.
Now you can save yourself a ton of time going out to bars, clubs or even coffee shops to meet women, only to find out a few dates later that you are both total opposites.
3. You can do it at Home – This one is very important because it can give those of us who are completely busy with school, work or personal responsibilities ease of access. Not everyone drinks alcohol, coffee, or goes out dancing. The most popular in person dating scene destinations aren’t always the most appealing to people and now, we don’t have to take a yoga class just to meet women.
Being able to set up a profile, browse by interests and occasionally set up dates in a much easier approach to people.
Cons of Online Dating
When it comes to cons, online dating is full of really obvious ones. Lets go through the most popular.
1. Altered photo’s & Questionable angles – This one is by far the biggest complain. Is this a college picture of this dude or his current picture? Is there a reason this woman is taking selfies from the EXACT same angle in every picture? Most horror stories of online dating have to do with two people meeting and one turning out completely different than their online profile pictures.
Lets face it, people like to look their best. That’s much easier done online. There are plenty of tools to alter photos like photoshop, paint, etc. The problem with looking worse than you do online is that it almost guarantees no second date….
2. Exaggerated Personal description – Ah, the good’ ol “about me” section. In all honesty, other people know who you are more than you do. Its actually very hard for us to accurately describe ourselves, but when it comes to online profiles, we start styling. Yup, its time for us to write down who we are…….Everything we wish we were in real life.
Yeah, the unfortunate thing is that people feel like they can say they’re smart, funny, extroverted, etc, as a description of who they are. These are just really broad traits that sound good on a checklist. So some people just go though a list of “what will make me sound good?” and put it on their list.
3. Rate of Return – If you’ve ever had experience with internet dating sites, you know what I mean by “rate of return”. For women, it means the inbox is flooded with lewd photo’s and sex propositions. For men, it means our inbox is loaded with……crickets.
For women, its an overload of losers and for men, women just aren’t responding to us! This can be very frustrating for men because if feels like the only thing left to do is beef up the profile with a little white lies. The women just delete most inquiries because it’s just too much. The easiest way to weed through them is by profile pictures, so that’s why guys only choose their best pictures……from 30 years ago.
It’s just too hard to seal that date online and move to in person meeting. Not to mention that men push for it and women are cautious about it. The two don’t mix. We all hear horror stories of meeting axe murderers online.
To be honest though, whether its online or in the bar, you don’t know who that person is, so in terms of axe murderers, it’s a tie.
Pros of Live Dating
1. You get What you See – You can’t photoshop yourself in real life, as far as I know. Dating online leaves you open to catfish, scams, and photo fraud.
Going to a bar, club or coffee shop gives you a lot less options, but more certainty with every option available. You don’t have to guess about their appearance.
2. Rate of Return – The rate of return in person is much higher than online simply because the power of an interesting exchange can create instant interest. Online, people are just words and numbers, but in person, we can actually appreciate someone a lot more.
When women, or men try to grab the attention from someone their interested in and set up a date, the return in person is usually much higher.
3. Ability to Judge – You don’t have to read or write a checklist of details in person. Just by exchanging a few simple words, we can see if the person is smart, funny, introverted, extroverted, or completely lame. This can prevent awkward first dates and help us understand what to expect from the person we just met.
No matter how long you talk with someone online, it doesn’t make meeting them any easier. Its always a bit difficult and awkward because interacting in person is such a different experience. There are much more variables to consider so the game is different. Its live Football and Flag Football. They’re kind of the same, but not really.
Cons of Live Dating
1. Limited Selection – Imagine living in a small town and trying to meet your soulmate. That’s pretty difficult to do with such a limited selection. The bar might have five physically attractive girls at best and maybe out of those five, two are half descent to talk to.
Having no options means a lot of people have to settle for someone they grow to like, which is never a good thing.
Meeting offline is very hard if you don’t have the selection of a big city. Even then, if you’re not the bar or club type, that makes things even harder. You have to be lucky enough to run into your soulmate at work or in school or its game over? The internet solved that problem.
2. Low Call Back Rate – It might be easy for guys to get a phone number sometimes, but most girls will do so because they have a passive nature. That’s why a lot of guys know a phone number doesn’t automatically mean a date. Meanwhile, online, people don’t feel so pressured or threatened in the safety of their own homes.
Numbers or meeting arrangements are more likely to materialize from online exchanges of that nature.
3. The Cold Approach – A lot of people meet their mate passively. Meaning they run into their “soulmate” at work, school or a community of similar interest. Sometimes, however, people may run into someone at the supermarket or gym that they have general interest in and would like to know more about them. How do you approach them? Will they blow you off? What do you say?
Walking up to a complete stranger that you find attractive is extremely intimidating and tough to pull off. A lot of times, people pass up opportunities of their life time because of fear. That’s a non issue online. Being rejected online feels a lot less personal. So its easy to send a message to the girl of your dreams, that perfect profile when you’re online.
The Final Verdict
At the end of the day, it comes down to personal preference. Both online and offline have their pros and cons. If you have social anxiety or prefer a more controlled environment, then maybe online dating might work better for you.
If you are impatient or find yourself participating in a lot of social communities, then maybe approaching attractive people in person is best for you.
However, there is no loss of learning both games. Set up an online profile and set out to socialize with people of interest in your local communities. That diversity of resource allocation can set you up to be more successful than sticking to only one method.
Stay safe and stay healthy out there!