Before we figure out how to get out of depression, we have to identify depression. Depression, put simply, is a low self image due to the loss of ones identity. There’s a common myth floating around that depression is genetic. Some people say it has to do from chemical imbalance. There is a a change in brain chemicals and hormones when someone is depressed, but it’s a result of depression, not the cause of it. A doesn’t cause B, rather B causes A. It’s a confusion between cause and effect.
- How to get out of depression isn’t as hard as psychologist and the media make it out to be
- Depression isn’t inherited or genetic in any way
- Medication for depression is bullshi’t. The roots of the depression need to be targeted
- Depression means having a low self image
- A low self image usually leads to a loss of identity
- Committing to uncertain expectations and not meeting them is the usual cause of depression
- Confusion or lack of information is a big part of being depressed
- Being too dependent on a person, idea or value system is dangerous and may lead to depression
How to get out of Depression
You largely constructed your depression. It wasn’t given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it. – Albert Ellis
Depression & Expectations
Bear with me as I simply explain depression first. When people are depressed, it’s usually
because they couldn’t meet their own expectations. If I expect to leave work 4pm, I’d be happy. Come 3:30pm and I’m asked to stay until 5, I’ll be depressed. Here’s a bigger example. You come home one day and your spouse is in bed with another person. What bothers you the most is that you didn’t expect him/her to do that. Why? Because you had certain expectations of them and expectations of a relationship in general. When we expect anything and it doesn’t happen, that’s a huge disappointment that leads to depression.
Avoiding Depression through Expectations
How to get out of depression from your own expectations is not to have any. Don’t mistaken that for not being confident or enthusiastic, think of it as a technical enthusiasm. Instead of saying “I KNOW I’ll win the lottery this time around!” you can say something like “I’m looking forward to playing the lottery because I’m interested in winning and I’d love to win, but I don’t know if I will”. It’s true, you don’t know if you will so don’t lie to yourself. That’s not being negative, you’re just avoiding building up on a gamble. People who gamble are depressed when they lose. This is no different.
Depression & Loss of Identity
When we don’t meet our expectations, we lose predictability. When people lose predictability, they now have confusion in their lives. Many people latch on to certain values and ideas. With religion being an extreme, there are plenty of other ideas out there that people identify themselves with. Trust in certain institutions like school, lifestyles and family values, these are all things people identify with. When a certain system or value is not working for us, we get depressed. This is the type of depression you commonly associate with not knowing what you want out of life. Many people who have an identity crisis have it after graduating school, marriage, promotion, etc. They call it a mid life crisis though. Repeating something that doesn’t show results over and over will get anyone depressed.
Gaining an Identity
If you find yourself without any goals in life or frustrated with your life in general, it’s a good idea to practice being humble and open minded. I don’t mean the philosophical Kumbayah shi’t, but opening books and learning new things. Passions, hobbies and values that you never knew existed can suddenly become an obsession for you. Read some books about technology, nature, science, etc. Information isn’t everything, but it’s a start. Exposing yourself to new information and just obtaining random knowledge about the world can really open doors. If you have a failing value system, recognize it and find an alternative. Grow out of your old identity and into a new one or else you’ll lose your identity and form a low self image.”
Depression & Self-Image
When we put our faith or invest emotionally in someone and they’re not around anymore, often times people will feel depressed. That’s why when a family member dies or a relationship is broken up, people will become depressed. In our society, we are more dependent on others than we realize, so this is an easy trigger for depression. One way to avoid it is to avoid putting all our eggs in one basket, meaning we surround ourselves with more people. People who have a larger social circle are less likely to be depressed for that reason primarily. The first step is to be aware if we’re putting our identity in others. If we do that, we have a low self image. We’re only as good as the one who gives us our identity, right?
Restoring Your Self -Image
Problem solving will almost certainly get anyone out of depression. Unfortunately, not many in our society know enough about problem solving to make it useful in their lives. By problem solving, I mean objectively using the scientific method to solve day to day problems. Doing as little guess work as possible. False expectations actually come from guessing wrong. So before even gathering information, learning how to do so properly will leave you less confused in your life.
Getting out of Depression Summary
- Less confusion, less stress, less depression!
- Pick up a book and learn more about the world, new information stimulates new ideas!
- A large, close. social circle will work wonders
- Learn how to solve daily problems scientifically and you’ll never be a victim of false expectations